Who shall I be next?

Just got back from therapy…  There was a switch from Sophie to Aimee during the session which Liz spotted, in response she asked “Who have you become now?”

Is this us being too sensitive, or is that a little weird?  Seemed more like she was asking which character in a movie we were now playing…

I also know that therapists have a lot to remember, but it would be kinda nice if they remembered basic stuff that could trigger – like issues surrounding having children :(

Disheartened… but we have to give her a fair go.


14 Responses to “Who shall I be next?”

  1. 1 mindparts May 4, 2009 at 1:29 pm

    Hmmm… Yes, this is at the minimum insensitive. But it’s also not smart. If you switch, then what does a question like that mean to the part you’ve switched to?

    • 2 castorgirl May 4, 2009 at 2:17 pm

      In this case it just confused Aimee (who is 9 years old). She doesn’t “become anyone” she is just Aimee :) It did however, cause me concern.

      We’re reaching the point of thinking that we must be the problem, Liz is our 4th therapist in 5 years after all. We can be too sensitive and our communication skills within therapy are pretty negligible.

      Take care

      • 3 mindparts May 4, 2009 at 3:03 pm

        Or, it could mean you haven’t done a great job at choosing.

        • 4 castorgirl May 4, 2009 at 6:00 pm

          Living in a small city in a small country, my options are pretty limited…

          Liz – current therapist who at least has other DID clients
          Bob – clinical psychologist who was highly recommended and highly skilled, but tried to force an integration (saw for 6 months on a limited contract)
          Carol – very nice and well meaning therapist who didn’t really have the skills to cope with the dissociation (saw for 3.5 years)
          Deb – very intelligent lady, but we had issues with her approach and shifting boundaries (saw for about 8 months)

          Liz was the only therapist of the six that I contacted who were even taking on new clients…

          Take care

  2. 5 jumpinginpuddles May 4, 2009 at 1:53 pm

    i dont think that i would ahve tkaen it well either, almost like an accusation rather than a question.

    • 6 castorgirl May 4, 2009 at 2:19 pm

      Yes, we found it weird. But we thought we might have been over-reacting. It doesn’t mean we won’t see her again, but it just raises a flag of concern.

      Take care

  3. 7 Ivory May 5, 2009 at 2:41 am


    Maybe what she said, and how she came across saying it should be your next topic in therapy. I, too, live in a small town and one of the topics my T has brought up is that it is difficult to find a T who BELIEVES a person can dissociate. My T’s attitude is sometimes our topic – he recognizes I won’t progress if I’m hung up on worrying about what he’s thinking.

    I would definitely bring it up and get to know her a bit more before sharing too much. (that’s if you can help it, sometimes, I can’t help it)

  4. 9 HiddenPathway May 5, 2009 at 3:19 am

    Please, don’t be disheartened. She doesn’t know you so long (how many sessions have you had with her?). I think that such inappropriate expression from her no longer happens, when she know you better and you have worked longer with each other. I hope so. What you write has nothing to do that you’re too sensitive. It’s your feeling, in this situation at this time (and in my mind even this feeling has its reasons). I also think that should be the next topic in therapy. It’s necessary to build confidence.

    Take care, all of you…. and Aimee is Aimee :) It’s really difficult for a 9 year old girl to handle such a comment).

    • 10 castorgirl May 5, 2009 at 1:49 pm

      Hi Kendra,

      Yes, we’ve only seen her a few times. Some of us are very impatient to be safer psychologically, so there is a sense of urgency which is probably not helping.

      The comment didn’t really worry Aimee, she just thought it was a funny thing to say. But then Liz mistook Aimee’s hyperactivity for anxiety – which is understandable considering our problems with anxiety :)

      Take care
      Sophie :)

  5. 11 Rachel May 5, 2009 at 7:03 am

    Oh my this sounds difficult – I hear how hard it must be for Aimee to hear this – so confusing. I wonder though whether it is something you can talk about with Liz (it sounds like although she works with other DID clients you are ‘learning’ together – I’d hope that if she was any good she would be able to take your thoughts on this on board). It’s not that you are too sensitive – your feelings about this REALLY MATTER, but perhaps she is not aware of how her comments feel for you.

  6. 13 Missing In Sight May 5, 2009 at 10:36 am

    I would have been uncomfortable and felt misunderstood. I don’t know how long you’ve been seeing your current T. If she is new, I would give her a break. But if you’ve been seeing her for a while, it’s her just to keep everybody straight. I would at least tell her you’re uncomfortable and work out a reasonable solution.

    I know our T have alot to deal with, but nothing makes me angrier than my T asking, “Who am I talking to now?” Can’t stand it.

    Best wishes.

    Missing In Sight

    • 14 castorgirl May 5, 2009 at 2:00 pm

      Hi Missing in Sight,

      We haven’t been seeing her for very long, but I think our expectations were a little high when we found out that she had other DID clients. We need to alter our expectations and see what happens.

      Take care

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