Cloudie & the garden

Growing up, our neighbour had an amazing garden.  Often we would sit on the fence post and watch her work in the garden.  When we were old enough, we were allowed to help her as well.  Those times in the garden with Cloudie (as she was nicknamed by all the neighbourhood kids) are some of the best memories that we have of the childhood.  We found out today that she has gone into hospice care as her cancer has now advanced to the point where she probably won’t be with us for much longer.

Take care my friend…
You will be missed…
You saved us more times than you will ever know…
You gave a place of sanctuary to an awkward girl that no one loved, for that I thank you…

The Garden
The Garden – by castorgirl on


4 Responses to “Cloudie & the garden”

  1. 1 davidrochester March 22, 2009 at 4:58 pm

    I’m so sorry to hear that your dear friend is so ill … but glad that you have these beautiful memories of someone who cared enough to reach out to you.

    • 2 castorgirl March 23, 2009 at 4:56 pm

      It’s odd David, but she never reached out to us. She just let us be there. We overheard her saying that we were annoying to the mother and sister, so there wasn’t unconditional acceptance. But the garden provided a haven. I think this area of calm saved us from further fragmentation.

      I’m wondering if the association that a young one has for Cloudie is more about the garden than her. Her garden is the basis for the perfect childhood that was created internally, so it has strong ties. But even then, there’s no people associated with it, just the garden. The real garden was altered years ago when they moved house, but to someone internally it still exists. I wonder if the thought of Cloudie dying is the same as the loss of the internal garden.

      Possibly I’m just over thinking something very simple – we’re sad someone who did show us kindness is dying.

  2. 3 davidrochester March 24, 2009 at 7:38 am

    Oh, I see … your memories seemed so positive that I assumed Cloudie herself had been accepting of you. I understand the positive-place-association phenomenon, though … I have those, too.

    • 4 castorgirl March 25, 2009 at 8:17 am

      If you looked over time, she was definitely kind to us. The problem is that with the news that she is dying, it’s triggered some of the negative memories as well as positive.

      We remember that she made amazing ginger gems, but she also said that we weren’t allowed to come over to her house as often. It’s stirred up all sorts of memories.

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