This week has been “odd”. There are still many more walls than usual between us and the outside world, which is strange because things have been really positive this week…
- Found a therapist.
- Talked to Amy – we’re SO proud of how you’ve coped with everything that you’ve been through lately Amy :)
- Been more aware of work and those around us.
- Been accepted into the IRIS program – the result of the assessment the other week.
- Despite us not being aware of a landlord inspection, we passed – even though the house was a mess!
We also heard from Kris for the first time in over a week – he’d been unwell. It was very strange chatting to him again. Because we seem to have such a short term memory for any positive emotive response, during that week of non contact, we’d totally forgotten him. We can’t remember his voice, sense of humour, intelligence – it’s all just gone from our awareness. We’ve chatted briefly through IM a couple of times, but there are still huge walls there. It’s almost like we’re talking to him for the first time again. I really don’t want to put him through any more – the guy has already seen and experienced so much of our craziness that I just don’t want to have to be putting him through another round of it.
We also have the ACC mediation meeting on Monday. We’re not really sure what to expect, but we think the only outcome will be for there to be another full psychiatric assessment to determine our level of functioning. Last time they assessed us as 50% impaired in our global functioning. Apparently that means that we shouldn’t be able to work or take care of ourselves unassisted. They don’t see the DID as being the factor that allows us to get that assistance without any outward sign of that assistance.
We know that we’re still highly anxious about Monday and talking to Kriss. So we know there is still reasons for the walls and barriers to be there. Just feels very strange considering what a positive week it’s been.
Mind you… we did have to endure a 3 hour database tutorial today!!! It was mind-numbing torture. It got to the point where even the politest of the librarians was asking “is it time to put on the jug?” Another one arranged for the student assistant who had come in to cover the desk to buzz him for assistance every 15 minutes. Our cynical friend refused to come back to the training after the first hour long session :)
Carrie has told me that if we just breathed, it would be OK…