Sans therapist

We went to see Carol yesterday to see if we could go back to see her – she was the therapist before Bob.  The answer seems to be that we can’t…

The break from us did her good in that she wanted to clarify boundaries and think of ways in which to move forward with healing.  But again it seemed as if the therapy was going to mainly be driven by her.  There was an indication that skills to assist us in coping were going to be introduced, but why weren’t these worked on the last time we saw her?  We saw her for nearly three years after all…  It might just be us being cynical, but it seems that it’s only since we went and saw Bob that she really began to research dissociative disorders.  Surely this should have been worked on while we were seeing her, rather than after we’d left her?

What was both scary and comforting is that she picked up when something she said wounded us.  She knows us, she knows how to read us.  But we need someone who can help us heal – not just someone who knows how to play with Aimee…

The worrying thing is that there are so few therapists in this place.  Carol is going to talk to her supervisor tomorrow to see if they can suggest someone for us.  We know that many people go through periods of no therapy and it helps them, so it sort of makes us feel pretty weak to NEED a therapist.  But we know that our level of coping means that we need those external checks on our safety – we can appear to the outside world to be highly functional, but inside it’s chaos.

Will see what happens tomorrow…

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4 Responses to “Sans therapist”


  1. 1 Secret Shadows February 26, 2009 at 1:20 pm

    I hope that you find someone soon. I know it is hard. I know people who take breaks in their therapy. I have even done that myself. I can tell you it is different when you choose to take those breaks yourself v. you find yourself “stuck” in a break between therapists and you really want to maintain consistent therapy. I switched therapists at one point early in my treatment and I went a month without one. It was really difficult. I just want you to know I understand, and I hope that you find someone soon.
    Hang in there,
    Secret Shadows

  2. 2 castorgirl February 26, 2009 at 2:36 pm

    Hi Secret Shadows,
    We’ve been calling different therapists today, and none are willing to take on more ACC clients. But we’re going to try some others on Monday and see what happens.
    Thank you and take care :)

  3. 3 Baron von Rochester February 27, 2009 at 6:57 pm

    Damn, this is frustrating. I wish I could just pick you up and move you over here and plop you down in the office of one of the several excellent DID therapists here in my home town. It gets under my skin like you wouldn’t believe to know that you’re having such a hard time finding help. You’re so phenomenally intelligent, and seeking, and you want guidance, and you should have it. Because I said so, that’s why!

  4. 4 castorgirl March 1, 2009 at 11:46 am

    Thank you… This made us smile…
    We’re hopeful that one of the therapists will be suitable. We were hoping to avoid doing 5 different start up interviews, just because they’re so stressful and we’re not good at saying “No, we don’t want to see you”.
    But it looks like that is what we’re going to have to do…
    Wish us luck.
    Take care…


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